Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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