You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
