then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
