well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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