we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
