Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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