You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize