He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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