you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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