Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
