I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
