My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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