My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You can't special order awesome
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
