let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
