my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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