And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am never drinking with the goths again.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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