remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I love you. Go after that dick
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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