its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
