I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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