let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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