I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
