I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
