you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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