u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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