Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Bring me that man meat
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
