Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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