Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize