are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize