I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
