Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
