i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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