is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
