I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize