His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
