Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
