We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
