Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
