I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
