u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the day after is always just damage control
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
