Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
