eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
