Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
