OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
