my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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