how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
