Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
