Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
