Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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