yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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