There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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