Jerry, you need to find god
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
