I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
