Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You took a bar mat shot.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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