She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
