I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
