woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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