Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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