i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
