If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
